Barclay. Fred. Petey. Whoooo?? Whooo??

Last night, Jamie and Bae came home from church and Bae saw "something that looked like an eagle" flapping across the road. Of course, JP had to get the flashlight and I had to run and get the bird book and the binoculars!

It was a barred owl, aka screech owl. He was bEaUtIFuL!!! He was dark brown with white and grey lateral markings. He didn't make any noise, but his poor eyes turned red when shined the light in his eyes.

Back when we first moved in, I heard him, but never saw him. It was a haunting whoooo sound and I loved it! I named him Barclay. Then, last night, Baeleigh decided his name was Fred.

Fred? C'mon kid, you are more creative than that.

Okay. Petey.

Petey it is.

Why do I constantly give in to my 7 year old diva? Exactly right. Because she is 7 and she's a diva. (Granny, diva is a nice word for "spoiled brat." ha ha!)

xoxo
N.

To free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves–there lies the great, singular power of self-respect. -Joan Didion

I saw this quote the other day and it just really stuck with me.

I have a crazy horrible problem with people pleasing. I hate it when I do not meet the expectations of others. But come to think of it...when my expectations aren't met, I don't hear anyone beating down my door to apologize or to try harder or to try to make me happy. Sometimes I get "I'm human, I made a mistake" or "my family or my friends or my dog or insert whatever here... comes first". Which, incidentally means, I'm at the bottom of the list so take a number.

Self respect is a great thing ~ I have noticed that when there were times that I was too busy catering to other people that I let my self respect take a back seat to what they wanted/needed/expected.

I'm over that now.

At my class reunion, my very dear friend Amy said,
"I'm not dating anyone because i can't find anyone that treats me as well as I do."
Wow. She treats herself well and doesn't put up with anyone not treating her well. She is smart, confident and overly concerned when it comes to her family and friends. She and I had a talk about loving yourself enough to take care of yourself.

Since then, I have been making an effort to treat myself nicely. I have a list of things that I do to take care of me:

1. Put my clothes (socks and under wear included) in a warm dryer on high...this is awesome at 5:30 in the morning.
2. Read Psalm 139 even though I have it memorized.
3. Sing in the car regardless of my mood.
4. Wave and smile at the person flipping me off for reasons that I probably deserved.
5. Check this website: http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/2009_10_01_archive.html . It's seriously life changing.
6. Pray with the girls in the car ~ every morning I drop Bae and sometimes if we are on time, Haley and Alexis jump in and we chat for a few. I pray for them and their day and that no one will pull a clip that day...
7. Text Jamie. My favorite ones are about what he is cooking for dinner. Yum.
8. Rockin' out on Bae's stage. We have wayyyy tooo much fun at our house.
9. Call Grandma. It's the best form of unconditional love and I always feel so much better.
10. Remember where I was a year ago and be thankful to God for where He's put me today.

Be nice to you today. You deserve it.

xoxo
nrp

Last Weekend

Are these not the cutest rug rats you've ever seen?? Birthday girl, Maddie Mae is on the left, Baeleigh "I want to be a Mae" is on the right. Baeleigh feels like she has been short changed because Mackenzie and Maddie have the middle name "Mae" and she got stuck with "Quinn".

We had so much fun on Saturday at Maddie's Pumpkin Patch Birthday Party. This is the 6th year running and it is the only party I look forward to, because if you know me at all, you know I hate birthday parties. The only other exception is Allison's party because they had a huge sound system and Steph made me do the electric slide. It was fun once I forgot that I was 38 years old dancing with a bunch of 13 year olds. Poor kids.

Maddie was excited to see Mackenzie. Weren't we all??!! I must have hugged her 15 times! Her family went out to eat after the party at Logan's Steakhouse and we crashed their party! I didn't want to miss out on all the fun!

I do hope that Bae goes to Christian college...however...I'm not sure what I think about them locking up the television from the girls. I guess at least they HAVE television. Wendy Lou said that at Word of Life there was no music listening or t.v. watching whatsoever! I do like the idea that she has a Dorm Mom that lives just upstairs. That's nice to have an adult that can be around if they need them. Because really, 18 is still a kid in a lot of ways.

So until Thanksgiving, we have to go back to missing Mackenzie again!


Hugs.
N.

Missing Mackenzie

We have been missing Mackenzie a lot lately...she is in Pennsylvania away at College. She sent Baeleigh a birthday card and a scarf as you can see from the picture. It was so much fun getting mail from her but made us miss her more! I am excited that finally today she is making her journey home for the weekend!

It's funny because every morning when I pass the Lex-Springmill Exit, I see the Target sign and I always think of shopping which makes me think of Amber and Mackenzie. So then I pray for them.

I have just really been blessed to have these girls in my life. The first time I met Mik, she was 8 years old and we were on a group vacation in Myrtle Beach. She was so sweet and I remember hoping that if I ever had a daughter, that they would listen as well as she does! (That wish didn't come true, LOL, my daughter doesn't take orders very well...)

When I got pregnant with Baeleigh, Mackenzie made me a Congrats card that said "I will babysit for free". She was 11 but so mature for her age. Then to find out that Maddie was on the way too, that put that girl in hog heaven! A few years later, I talked Mackenzie into Teens-N-Talents and she has been a star ever since. One of my favorite skits that I wrote especially for her was called "Cool Crowd or Cool Christian?" and she was the lead role. Adam Bennette gave her a hard time about it, made her cry, so I kicked him out of there. My favorite part in teh skit is where Steven Gamble got down on one knee and sang "My Girl" to her. It was so cute but hilarously funny. All of her friends were in the skit (I did that on purpose too): Katy, Mark, Allie and Andre'.

Amber headed up the other group of teens. She and I would stay up for hours at night trying to write her drama so it would be ready for the first practice. She always memorized her lines immediately, so she could beat everyone else. Yes, my girl was just as competitive as I was...guess that's why we won the Drama Competition every year...for six years!

If nothing else ever came out of my ten year drama coach reign, I would hope that the kids learned that they were capable of doing something great. Even the kids that hated speaking in front of people and I let them off easy by giving them a wordless part, they were still part of the group and their contribution was important even though small.

Isn't that what life is all about? Regardless of how "big our part is", or how glamourous or non-glamourous our lives may be ~ as long as we are part of the team, we are important.

I try to explain to Baeleigh that it's okay to have a small part in Jan's plays at Crestview because all of the kids can't have big parts, and if you want to be a part of the team, you have to go where you are needed.

So any contribution, be it big or small, really doesn't matter. It's how well you contribute, and what condition your heart is in and what attitude you bear that makes a difference.

As I look forward to hugging Mackenzie to death on Saturday, I look at her and see big things in her future. She is always willing to take back stage to help someone else out or to sacrfice what she really wants to help someone else. Coaching Upward with her was one of the most rewarding things I have ever done, and as her shoes are getting filled by someone else this year my heart aches...but I know that she is spreading her wings and flying in God's direction...which is the only place to be.

Happy Birthday to Jack IV, Maddie, Payton & Jaydyn.

xoxo
N.

I'm a train wreck. Toothache. Headache. Earache. Neck ache. Seriously. Every day this week save one I have taken a nap over lunch hour because I am so miserable.

The note above is from Baeleigh, of course. This is why I am against the phonetic teaching of words. She spells things phonetically rather than from memory. That's why it's "Hay" and not "Hey".

I remember when I was the exact same age as Bae, I was in second grade and my mom found a note that said "I want to be President of the United States." Nothing was spelled wrong because Teachers back then were ruler whackers! You had to be proficient in reading and writing by 3rd grade or your knuckles would pay the price.

Speaking of third grade, at my 20th year reunion my friend Jeremy and I were in the same 3rd grade class. We talked about "Klep" aka Mrs. Kleppinger. She was mean and hateful. I was a straight A student until I walked her dreadful path...I still have the grade card: Straight A's and one C. It might was well been an F. I didn't get C's and rarely B's. I was LIVID with anger. Yes, it was her fault that I got a C in READING of all subjects (I am an excellent reader - have NEVER had problems with it) and she told my mother the reason I got a C was because I was in the top reading group and I did just enough to "get along." I was "average". I still loathe that woman. How could I be "average" in reading, if I were an A student in writing and language?? Good question. She just didn't like me because I talked too much.

So about my aches and pains, I went all to heck in one week. Started out with a head cold that traveled to my lungs, then my tooth started hurting from the crown leaking, which I think led to my ear ache. My neck hurts from holding my jaw. When it all starts hurting at the same time, I am a mean woman.

I go to the dentist on Monday.

Regardless of the outcome, I am hoping for good pain killers.

xoxo
N.

"To be a butterfly, you must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar..."

I was getting ready for bed and the text came in from Ty. Before I opened it, I was like, oh no, something is wrong with Geege.

Nothing is wrong. The stinkin' crazies were having a party! Yes, you read right. A PARTY. The whole fam damily got together to shave mom's head. Madi started it...Gage mohawked it...and Ty finished it. Then they made Jersey Mud desserts to finish off the party.

What's a Jersey Mud?? I had to hear about Jersey Mud's for years from Jen ~ every year in Michigan they would all go to the little dairy bar and get the world famed "Jersey Mud" It consists of one scoop of vanilla icecream, one scoop of chocolate ice cream, malt, marshmallow cream - all topped with whipcream and a cherry. I finally got to eat one for myself this summer. It was delicious.

I stared at the picture above and laughed out loud. Then the pic of her completely bald, I smiled so big ~ she looks ADORABLE. Cute as a button, I swear.

And then I laid in bed and cried all night...and really haven't stopped yet.

Me: You look so cute! Do you keep rubbing your head?!?
G.: Yes! But it feels so good! I just couldn't handle pulling it out.
Me: YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE PULLING IT OUT. is what I thought, but I said, "Bae said Awesome Mohawk!
G: Tell her I know where she can get one!
Me: We laughed and then had a good cry about it.
G: Oh! It's only hair! Hopefully by March I will be wig-free!
Me: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S ONLY HAIR! IT SIGNIFIES THAT YOU HAVE CANCER! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON'T DIE! DON'T LEAVE ME! EVER! EVEN THOUGH YOU AND MY MOTHER WOULD HAVE ONE HECK OF PARTY, I STILL WANT YOU HERE WITH ME is what I thought, but I said, "I love you Geege. You look adorable. Call me tomorrow. G'nite."
G: i Love you too. Goodnight.

On that note, please continue to pray for G.G. She has another round of chemo coming up.

N.

Stop Pulling Your Hair OUT.

The coolest thing happened last night; I met Patti for dinner and then I stopped to get gas at Meijer. I was driving past Julie's house on Pole Lane and I was thinking about Jenny, wondering if Madi had practice for Cheerleading or what was going on..if Jenny was resting at Julie's or whatever, and then right in front me...There she is! I was so excited to see G.G.

She pulled over at McKinley Park and I got out and sat in her car for ten minutes so she wouldn't be late getting Madi from practice. I hugged her and said "You have no idea how much I love you" and then I heard something rustle in the back seat and it scared me TO DEATH. I screamed. Ahhh! What is it??!!

It was just Gage! I am a paranoid freak anymore. So then, G.G. had to show me her latest development with her hair...as she pulled out a handful...I cried the whole way home.

I have other issues going on as well, but I think I am more upset about her hair falling out than she is. I wish I had her mental clarity and toughness. I guess that's what you get when you grow up on a dairy farm where you have to work from dawn to dusk every day in the barns. I always loved doing chores and Geege hated it. I guess if I had to to do it every day too, I would hate it.

Imagine how messy my room was...can you imagine if my parents owned a barn?? Not a good thought.

I hardly get on Baeleigh for her pig pen of a room, I just close the door...

Steph called me this morning and said "Hey, I'm not going to keep you" and then we both started laughing. We don't know why that was so darn funny. But we laughed because the other one was laughing and finally, after ten minutes of laughing and remembering that Steph's not "keeping me" she finally says: I want you to speak at my funeral when I die.

DIE??? Is there something YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME!??!

I said, I can't watch you die! I thought all of us girls would live together at the nursing home, where we can sit around and do group therapy and then partake in Jack Kevorkian's group euthansia! Then we all go at the same time!

We laughed and laughed and then she had to get all serious on me again.

"Seriously. If I die, you have to stand up and tell everybody all the great stories."

What the heck!!?? I thought I was the funeral singer? Now I'm the funeral singer and the funeral talker??

Good grief. How do these people expect me to pull this stuff off.

My friend Gigi (not to be confused with G.G.) said something that is sticking in my brain: "It is what it is. You have to accept it." I hate acceptance of anything that i don't want to accept. Why can't everybody just act and do as I say and love me all the while? Why do people have problems and issues and baggage and drama and all that nonsense??

It is what it is.

We all die. We all have problems. We all fail in some area of our lives. We are ever changing every day.

So, okay, Stephanie Norton Rayburn aka "Information Station" I will do your funeral. But I hope more than anything, that I go first...because I can't stand the thought of losing one more person in this life that I love.

On that depressing note...I'll make sure at your funeral that I tell everyone about the night we went to the popcorn festival and you laughed so hard water came squirting out your nose! And then you tried to wipe your nonsense on me and I said "Don't get that on my shirt!" What a good friend I am! Friend of the Year for Natalie Powers! I accept this award with humbleness and great honor!

You guys keep me around for free comedy, admit it.

xoxox
N.R.P.